I just cannot wait until tomorrow.... although all over,... today is a sad, muddy, emotional day.... but still, i cannot wait until tomorrow... i cannot keep it in my heart anymore.....
Today, ma is not in, only me, pa and nina....by the way, it is ok.... i can work with everyone..
by the way, today is the day.... almost 200 paxs of volunteers! as usual pa will handle it with nina...i have to stay at the office..... i just know it. if there is ma... it will be a worst day (boring)....
this is because, i realize since that day (ma told pa not to disturb me, coz i have got a lot of work to be done) pa have never really give me any work... any important responsibility..... i though he must take ma words seriously!!!! Yes, ma did said like that... but, that job i have done it way way long time ago..... i just don't understand why he doesn't wanna give it to me....??? did i done anything unnecessary thing??? did i do wrong? if yes??? what is it?? plez give chances to make it right again.....
So, while i was typing for my blog, k.sheena come and we have a chat... then she go... she volunteer as a photographer..... then pa and nina come back... i finish all my work.... i still didn't finish my binturong signage.....so i have to work it..... at ten pa ask me to have a break.....since k.sheena sms me to meet her at canteen, so i agreed and go to canteen for my break.
on my way to canteen i come across k.alia(if i'm not mistaken), she said that she need signages ready by 3 o'clock (quite urgent), so i told her to write it in the book, after my break i will make it and finish it.... then, we take our own way...
when i arrive at canteen.... it was very packed..... there are a lots of volunteers at the canteen having their break also.... so i didn't buy anything.... the queue is like forever.... i lost my appetite already by that time (cause by unstable emotion and forever long queue)! k.sheena give me half of her kit kat for me.... thank you.....(^_^)!!!
when i arrive at the office, i saw pa training nina to make the signage that k.alia ask me to do!!! i quite piss-off... but i kept it quite.Usually i will handle signage!!! i sat.... and pa didn't say anything to me... nothing to do....
i continue my binturong signage after nina finish the signage..... pa invited us to join talks on digital photography at 'panggung'...... i refuse to go cause i have binturong signage to be done..... so pa and nina left me alone..... than k.sheena come and transfer picture that she had taken for the day.... we have quite an emotional chat by this time.... i told her everything that i felt bout my relationship with pa and ma..... she agree with me.... we oth believe some how.... pa is trying to avoid me..... it is obvious.... (while we express our feelings, few times pa come in and out from the office) i thing pa know that we are talking bout him..... before k.sheena leave, she advise me to 'slow-talk' with pa.... i dunno whether i can do it.... cause i'm not that type of person......
anyway.... that short meeting have made me unstable for the day...... pa did call me.... he wants me and nine to go down to kancil hall to have our lunch break... again... i refuse... because we have plan to have lunch with zurin.... but i don't really hungry.... then zurin call and invited us for lunch at kancil hall..... so, i go down stair for a short break... i have no appetite at all..... we sat together(all practical student except farah, she off day)
after i finish my lunch.... ma call me and said she on her way to education office... she half day today... i was very happy by this time..... i wait ma downstair... when ma arrive we climb up the stair together.... we come across with pa at the door... he actually quite shock (i guess, coz his face change tremendously) when he saw ma......
however, ma still not fully recover.... she said that her son also sick...... by this time my second draft of binturong signage have been submitted for ma to check....(the first, pa check) pa and nina left us to take picture of kid's carnival event at picnic area.... i didn't go cause i wanna finish my binturong signage (i never leave until my work is properly done!) when i get permission to go to picnic area, quickly i go.... to meet them.... but when i arrive there, they are not there... i try to find them.... but i cannot find them anywhere.... so i sat at the table there and enjoy the music played..... but then, it is raining..... so i decided to go multi-animals show as it is almost 3 o'clock..
then i received sms from a saying that she have to go back home, her son is sick badly.... then nina come to me... was shock, why she is here??? she said pa at the office... i said ok..... then she sat among the crowd. i leave as the show start. and i came across pa again at the office door. he's going out. i'm going in. then he come back in. he wanted me to change binturong signage according to binturong signage picture that he and nina have taken after go to the picnic area. then he left.
as usual.... i will transfer all picture from the camera and save it in ma PC... it is basic thing to be done.... i saw my second draft binturong signage is not check by ma... after change the signage... i print draft and pa approve it. after finish my signage (plus laminate and stick double-sided tape), i have nothing to do....
then i heard pa ask nina to transfer picture from the camera (which i have done it)..... i don't understand.... he know i will make sure everything is done, right?? why he ask nina anyway??? he know how i do my work.... if there is volunteer, research, and practical student form, i will compile it in the file.... if i get the camera, i will transfer picture in ma computer, check the batteries... if need to be change, i will change.... then i will charge all batteries that is low in power...
all of it is basic... and usually i will done it everyday when i come to work....!!!!
he also ask nina to do memo...while i'm nt doing anything, and nina is busy faxing letter!!!!
i got very piss-off!!! i left the office and have a chat with handyman downstair...
then i go back to the office.... it ia almost 5.... nina is not in.... so i take the chance and said i'm sorry to him... he shock....for what... i said sorry if i accidently make he angry or anything wrong.... i told him that our relationship is not as before... he said it is ok.... there is up and down season... we are in down season (i think)... he said there is nothing happen.... maybe it just my feelings... nothing more... he admit that he thought that i'm busy with work assign by ma.... i told him not everytime i'm busy....he said that he will give me a lots of works tomorrow... i told him no need cause tomorrow is my off day.... i was going to explain to him more about our situation, but, when i wanna start explain to him... nina enter.... and we both stop talking again....
i realize that he in hurry like he wanna leave as fast as he can.... wanna go back home... not as usual....again....
he left me with nina.....
nina check our timetable and told me that she will be working with ma only tomorrow..... i stumble for a few second.... he said he will give me a lots of works tomorrow, but then, he also not going to be in like me tomorrow.... i felt weird..... really weird... why he said like that in the first place????
i just don't know what will happen after this... hope the best outcome from this.... there is a lot more that i wanna said to him...
that all for today..... full of emotion... i actually cried few times today... so long.... and gudnite all!!!!
SINCERELY,
ARORA
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