FINAL DECISION!!!

So, after a long period of time full of confusion and unknowing.... finally, i have clear all the mess in my mind.

I have been in a deep depression for this ultimate decision. My brother keep saying i should go with dad,but as usual, i will fight back.. i argue with him in the phone saying i'm not going there..(while,actually, i'm saying in this blog that i'll follow him)...hahaha.... the mouth fight turn to be... me keep all i wanted to say and just shut my mouth... not a single word.... and eventually my tears drops... DEPRESSION!!!!

Exactly the next day.... i have to go to his house cause, dad cannot take me home....so, when i arrived there... WOW! what a BIG SURPRISE...... kak long is home.... and why i'm not surprise when she said "we just talk bout you just now....." and there goes the same thing...... forcing me follow him n pity dad, no one want to follow him...bla...bla...bla......thank GOD i've my recorder......so, i don't actaully listen to them.... i just heard them.... but eventually i stuck in my head also....... so what?? JUST LET IT BE THAT WAY....

So, it turn up that i don't have to say what i feel... cause what i feel doesn't important for them... it would be the best for me to shut my mouth, right???

Dad said it is ok for not following him.... but, it take me few days to make my decision....... and because of my heart said that she want to be with people who can make me happy and smile.... so i change my mind and go to melor for this year raye.....!!!!(^_^).....

This would be a good/bad memory......... so be it.... don't care don't mind...... no more depression....

Recently i feel like my body does not as usual.... i kept feeling like i loss my breath, like there is not enough air, plus, dizziness......maybe because of my hemoglobin level is low... but.... few days before and today i feel great pain below my stomach... my friend said that it might be appendic... but.... that impossible... well, i know what i ate... and my diet is really strange but, for sure not appendic...because i really REALLY really cautious about what i eat and drink....although i doesn't really like supplement....but, for sure i take enough nutrients needed for my body through food....

Owh well.... it is very late now.....